Lake Dunstan

Held on, but it was hard–stepped up, took charge
Ran through what we scared of, but what was we afraid for?
Look at what we made of, hard times done made us
Being here is alright, but MUST believe we want more!

–Big V; Awnaw
Nappy Roots; Watermelon, Chicken and Gritz

It's been raining for the past two days. Pretty much nonstop moisture; going from just a spitting grayness (kinda like "the marine layer", aka, the fog in San Francisco) to downpours that keep you in bed in the morning longer than you planned. Still doesn't change the fact that all of this area is absolutely stunning. I went running today down near Lake Dunstan which is walking distance from Chad and Catherine's house. I don't run very often; if I do it's usually no more than 400m at a time and part of some workout I'm doing. While I was running today, I noticed that I spend most of time looking at the ground about 4-6ft in front of me. When I'd catch myself doing this, I'd consciously make myself look up (I can still see the path in front of me so I don't know why my focus tends to be so close). And when I'd look up, I'd notice how vibrant the colors were around me. This was odd to me considering how low the grayness was hovering above. I'm sure there's some scientific explanation to it but there's too many variables involved to even try and deduce the reasoning right now. Regardless, the purples were deeper violets; the orange in the normally green bushes were much more visible; the scrubbrush layer ever present in this area was much more golden.

Then I saw something very strange. I looked down at one of the purple flowers and there was a bee hanging there, not moving at all. I blew on him. Nothing. I touched the flower. Nothing. I touched him. Nothing. He was soaking wet. Aw, damn. He was dead. I walked further and there was another one on a different flowering plant. I touched this one and he moved! Middle legs pushed out like he was waking up. Then I realized what had likely happened. Caught out in the rain, the bees probably started getting too wet, too heavy, and eventually too tired to fly. They landed on the plants maybe hoping to rest only to meet their demise. Tragic. I went back later with my camera to see if maybe, just maybe, the latter bee was wiser than I'd thought and they'd just gone into a state of hibernation. But alas, he didn't move at all. I'll have to remember to go back after it warms up to see if they were really just lying in wait.

The news that I've been offered 3 harvest positions since being here has been trickling out. A couple of the responses with respect to how fast I've gotten offers would likely fall into the category of shock or/and amazement. I thought about this while I was running and bigger ideas came out of it. The 2 biggest are here below.

First. Yeah, I may have gotten 3 firm offers pretty quickly since being here, but what you don't see is the 3-4 months prior. It's not like I just showed up and said "Hey. Want me to work fer ya?". I did my homework and my due diligence. I did my worrying and my doubting. I did my psyching up and pushing through. But I didn't do it alone. I dealt with the majority of it alone. But I also reached out when I needed to and got tangible little pushes from some of you in the last 3-4 months. Some of you gave intangible little pushes in the last 3-4 months that were drummed up from within. Some of you gave pushes way before the last 3-4 months. Thank you everyone. One of you though has been very very instrumental to my success here thus far. I couldn't have done it without your help. My 3 offers have either been directly or indirectly handled by you and for that I am humbly grateful. There's no need to mention your name, you should know who you are. Thank you.

Second. I wanted this. I wanted it bad. I wanted the adventure but I also wanted the education and experience that will help me going forward. So I went and got it.

How bad do you want what you want in life? Nothing worth having is ever handed to you. You have to go get it. I'm finally really starting to understand this.

If you know what you want, go get it. Haz lo! Do it! Don't wait another minute. Stop reading this and start figuring out how to make it happen. If you don't know what you want, start small. It'll snowball. Sounds crazy, but it will. Wanna make chicken fried rice from scratch without a wok? Do it. Want 6 pack abs? Do it. Wanna see the Great Wall of China? Do it. Wanna quit your job and travel to Latin America? Do it.

There will be stops and starts and setbacks that will feel crushing and defeating. There will be days where everything around you feels dark and ominous; where you don't wanna get outta bed; where you'd rather take the easy way–hell, Robert Frost wrote a poem about it. There will be days, months, years, where your worst enemy is yourself; where the biggest doubts come from within; where wrangling all parts of your being to move toward the objective will be tougher than the objective itself.

There will also be little triumphs and downhill slides where you'll wanna dance or put your hands up and yell. There will be enormous giggles that start with a slow rumble from a place you only thought fear existed. There will be moments in the sun that no one else will experience, where you'll think this is for me. There will be a time when you'll be standing at the end, and turn around and look back and think "I made it through that???". Or you'll think "I made it through that!!!" And then you'll turn around and do it again. Why? Because that's life. Would you want it any other way?

Peace fam. Stay frosty